In a single word this conference was amazing. I mulled over whether or not I was going to spend the money and take the time to attend. I could think of a million reasons (excuses) why it just wouldn’t work. They were all legitimate, they were all real, but in my heart of hearts I knew I needed this for myself. That if I was to miss out on attending I would regret it. As I sat in the audience today I had so many moments that I just knew I was meant to be there.
Mayor Sandra Snow, Sherri and Carrie from Sherri and Carrie Real Estate, Helen Macdonald spoke their raw authentic truths before the main speaker of the day spoke her story. We also got a chance to do yoga, meditation, meet and connect with other like minded women. Delicious snacks and lunch were provided along with many vendors who’s services complimented the message of this day. The energy in the room was high and I can guarantee each woman went home ready to nurture that seed that was planted.
Self care is not selfish was one thing that was spoke over and over to us throughout the day. Take a chance to be selfish so you can be selfless eventually. An important message for ladies to hear. An important message for the mothers in the room to process.
When you’re on an airplane what is the one thing they tell you do before helping anyone else. Place your own oxygen mask on your face, then help the people next to you. How often as nurturers and care takers do we do this? Last weekend I had an a-ha moment very much to point. I was working, so was my husband. I had to do baseball registration, dance class and art class with the children. Nothing I’m not used to I often adventure our with 6 of my favourite friends. I spent the morning making sure that everyone was ready. Made sure everyone had a change of clothes. Then I packed snacks and water bottles and everything each of them would need for a busy morning out and about. 9:30 AM I backed out of my driveway, as I approached the stop sign I realized I didn’t have my water, my coffee and I had not yet even attempted breakfast. I had made sure everyone around me had their oxygen masks on but had failed to first put my own on.
This is going to be a very tricky shift for me. I’m going to have to be hyper aware of the choices and language I’m using when making decisions for myself. When I’m getting ready for my day I need to make sure I show up for myself, not just those who count on me. Without the proper rest, nutrition, and movement I’m not able to serve those around me to the optimal ability. Without taking the time to organize and prepare my day and do the things I need to do to I’m sure for one day it won’t make much difference but if by doing that day in and day out something is going to suffer. Chances are that something is me.
I need to remind myself I do not need permission from someone else in order to take care of myself. I need to remind myself that waiting for someone else to see me and offer me to take the time for me is going to leave me hanging in a lurch wondering why no one appreciates what I’m doing. The truth is, it’s not that I’m not appreciated, it’s the fact everyone has a different love language and I do not need anyone’s permission to take care of me. The only person that truly needs to matter to is me.
The conference today was the last in Deb Crowe’s self care conference series for this year. I’ll be following along with her on social media to see what other things she is working on and awaiting for her to return for another conference here in the future. The messages that her and the other speakers shared were so authentic in the journey and the success that comes from moving forward no matter what. Create boundaries, cut out time for yourself, put yourself at the table you serve.
“The only people who will be upset when you create boundaries are the ones who benefited from the lack of boundaries you had”